How Not To Quit Your Job (Even Though You Wish You Could)
If it were up to me, every dissatisfied employee would be able to tell their boss it wasn’t working anymore and get paid to leave. After all, there are added costs for everyone when disengaged workers stay too long. Then, magically, a perfect new job would appear. Unfortunately, my promotion to Boss of The World hasn’t come through yet, there are a lot of really good reasons for feeling like quitting isn’t an option, and magic jobs are hard to come by. So if you have to stay, how do you manage to keep it together to avoid burning out — or worse, freaking out?
First, it’s important to assess how bad things really are. If you’re facing serious abuse or discrimination, the only step you might need to take is to find support from an employment lawyer and your family, friends, and therapist. But if the problem is more in the vein of feeling dissatisfied, undervalued, uninspired, or annoyed to the point where you just can’t take it anymore, there are a few things you can do to keep your cool until you can make a change.
Start with Setting Your Own Goals
We’re not talking about the goals that go into your annual review, but goals to help you focus on what gets you through the day. Although focusing on getting the work done as best you can without spiraling into despair about how much better it could be is also really important. When you first started, you likely had goals based on getting ahead, but if you hate your job and are just biding your time until you can leave, it’s time to shift that focus to getting by.
Goal 1: Find what’s good
Even if you don’t like your job, there are likely some positive aspects that you can focus on. Maybe you have great co-workers, you’re gaining valuable experience, or you enjoy some of the tasks involved. Find what’s working for you and focus on ways to access that good stuff as much as possible.
Goal 2: Identify the work that can be done
Setting achievable goals can help you stay motivated and feel like you’re making progress. Identify some goals that are within your control, and break them down into smaller, manageable steps. This will help you see that you’re making progress, even if you’re not in your dream job.
Goal 3: Level up
Take advantage of any training or development opportunities your employer offers, or look for ways to improve your skills outside of work. To shift your mindset, try turning the issues you see into thought exercises. Instead of complaining, imagine how you would solve the problem — and encourage your work friends to do the same when you feel a vent session coming on. Growing your skills and thinking like a leader will help you gain confidence and can lead to more opportunities in the future.
Goal 4: Focus on your people
Often, loving your coworkers is part of what makes it hard to leave. But when work is feeling toxic, those relationships can be based more on shared trauma than shared joy. Make an effort to get to know your colleagues more deeply, and try to find common interests beyond shared complaints. Build relationships that will last even when you don’t work together anymore and you’ll benefit from real friendships and a strong network.
Goal 5: Focus on yourself
When work is draining you, it’s even more important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy food. Take breaks when you need them, and find ways to manage stress. And don’t save the self-care for out-of-work hours only. Try to incorporate healthy habits into your day like walking away from screens, going outside, using a meditation app, and drinking lots of water.
Even the worst jobs don’t last forever, so make sure part of that self-care includes keeping an eye on the future. Start thinking about what you want to do next, reach out to people in your network, scan job posts, and envision what it will take for you to be truly happy at work.
If work sucks it’s hard to think about anything other than all the ways it sucks. Setting goals that focus on you — your needs, relationships, and growth — can help you make the most of a challenging situation, and avoid getting stuck so it’s easier to move on at the end of the day.
Actually ready to quit? Check out this article: How To Quit Your Job
